Such Beautiful...Shirts: The "It's Complicated" of Relationships"
In what way does Daisy love Gatsby and Tom, if at all?
"And what's more, I love Daisy too.
Once in a while I go off on a spree and make a fool of myself, but I always
come back, and in my heart I love her all the time."
- Tom Buchanan, The Great Gatsby
What it love?
The idea of love has become quite an abstract idea to philosophers. Some believe it is simply biology while others believe it is more spiritual in nature. Plato and his student, Aristotle, both have developed theories which have become the more popular and modern conception today. Plato believed that love replaced animalistic or genetic urges for intellectual relationship. The word platonic love derived from Platonism, meaning a non-sexual relationship that was chaste, which was the core of eros type love. Aristotle’s more popular theory believed that love was ‘two bodies and one soul.’ Based on the ancient Greek understanding, there are four categories of love: eros meaning romantic love, storge meaning familial love, philia meaning love between friends, and agape meaning spiritual love. To modern day philosophers, love has become a word to define an emotion that unites two people who feel concern for and value the other. It can also be seen as physical attraction between two people with predictable behaviour which includes caring, listening, choosing over other, etc. Some scientists reduce love to sexual impulses which all animals — including humans — have.
To what extent does Daisy love Gatsby and Tom?
Annette Baier, a moral philosopher, once wrote in her book Unsafe Loves, “Love is not just an emotion people feel toward other people, but also a complex tying together of the emotions that two or a few more people have; it is a special form of emotional interdependence.” She doesn’t just mean emotional interdependence as echoing each your partner’s emotions but also responding to your partner’s emotions. This develops an intimate relationship between two people. The relationship between Daisy and Tom can be seen through this kind of definition of love. Tom and Daisy are very emotionally interdependent and both as a sort of safety net for each other. As Tom mentions, the both go on ‘sprees’ and eventually return to each other. They also have a history of being together and these experiences have shaped them into a couple. There were several points in their relationship where they cared for each other like when Tom mentions he carried Daisy to keep her feet from getting wet. As to the depth of their relationship, this is about as far as it goes. Its strong enough to keep them together, no matter what occurs, but it doesn’t prevent them from hurting each other and going on ‘sprees.’
The relationship between Gatsby and Daisy is more emotionally involved but also more shallow in some aspects. They clearly have a very strong emotional connection and do display that same type of emotional interdependence. Daisy represents everything that Gatsby wants and Gatsby provides the love and support Daisy needs when Tom is spree-ing. However, this displays quite a selfishness within the relationship and they end up becoming parasitic to each other. Many philosophers describe love as being concern for the other’s wellbeing and valuing what they value. Neera k. Badhwar, a philosopher and a university professor in Oklahoma, believes that love is an emotional orientation and that love looks like “an ongoing [emotional] affirmation of the loved object as worthy of existence…for her own sake.” Neither Gatsby or Daisy have the ‘look of love’ as Badhwar describes. Gatsby wants Daisy to be everything he wants her to be, not who she actually is, and Daisy just wants somebody to love her always. Beyond their own desires, they aren’t bound to each other and won’t sacrifice for each other. At the end of the novel, Daisy is perfectly willing to let Gatsby take responsibility for her crime, not caring about his well being or values. Love for Daisy corrupts Gatsby and changes his character so fundamentally. While their relationship is much more intense than Tom and Daisy’s, it still very superficial and self centered.
Is cheating justifiable?
There are two primary cases when considering marriage and cheating: one, having extramarital affairs and two, marrying someone you don’t love. This occurs a lot within the book between Daisy and Tom, Gatsby and Daisy, Tom and Myrtle, and Myrtle and George (Jordan and Nick could be considered but they weren’t really married). To look at Daisy first, her disgust and regret at Tom becomes part of the reason she gets into an affair with Gatsby. It’s obvious from the first chapter that Daisy feels alone, unloved, and hurt, especially by Tom’s infidelity. She may be unsure whether he will leave her one day, abandon her and Pammy for some other woman. For Myrtle, the primary reason for cheating on her seemingly kind husband is desire for a better life. Like everyone else chasing the American dream, Myrtle wanted so much more from her life and believed that this could be accomplished through relationships. For a woman in her mid thirties who does not have a child and is married, there is a possibility that either George or herself (more likely George) was infertile. This may have furthered feelings of bitterness towards her husband. A similarity between Daisy, Myrtle, and Gatsby’s affairs is that they are based on the hope of changing the past and taking back mistakes made. However, choices made in the past are always impossible to take back and have long lasting repercussions. A mother who gives up working to take care of her children cannot go back to work ten years later. A son who chooses to work near home to take care of sick parents can’t fulfil dreams of studying abroad fifteen years later because he is too old then. Cheating is not a justifiable act, especially within the context of the Great Gatsby. However, upon examining the reasons of cheating, it’s understandable, tragic, and still unforgivable.
What it love?
The idea of love has become quite an abstract idea to philosophers. Some believe it is simply biology while others believe it is more spiritual in nature. Plato and his student, Aristotle, both have developed theories which have become the more popular and modern conception today. Plato believed that love replaced animalistic or genetic urges for intellectual relationship. The word platonic love derived from Platonism, meaning a non-sexual relationship that was chaste, which was the core of eros type love. Aristotle’s more popular theory believed that love was ‘two bodies and one soul.’ Based on the ancient Greek understanding, there are four categories of love: eros meaning romantic love, storge meaning familial love, philia meaning love between friends, and agape meaning spiritual love. To modern day philosophers, love has become a word to define an emotion that unites two people who feel concern for and value the other. It can also be seen as physical attraction between two people with predictable behaviour which includes caring, listening, choosing over other, etc. Some scientists reduce love to sexual impulses which all animals — including humans — have.
To what extent does Daisy love Gatsby and Tom?
Annette Baier, a moral philosopher, once wrote in her book Unsafe Loves, “Love is not just an emotion people feel toward other people, but also a complex tying together of the emotions that two or a few more people have; it is a special form of emotional interdependence.” She doesn’t just mean emotional interdependence as echoing each your partner’s emotions but also responding to your partner’s emotions. This develops an intimate relationship between two people. The relationship between Daisy and Tom can be seen through this kind of definition of love. Tom and Daisy are very emotionally interdependent and both as a sort of safety net for each other. As Tom mentions, the both go on ‘sprees’ and eventually return to each other. They also have a history of being together and these experiences have shaped them into a couple. There were several points in their relationship where they cared for each other like when Tom mentions he carried Daisy to keep her feet from getting wet. As to the depth of their relationship, this is about as far as it goes. Its strong enough to keep them together, no matter what occurs, but it doesn’t prevent them from hurting each other and going on ‘sprees.’
The relationship between Gatsby and Daisy is more emotionally involved but also more shallow in some aspects. They clearly have a very strong emotional connection and do display that same type of emotional interdependence. Daisy represents everything that Gatsby wants and Gatsby provides the love and support Daisy needs when Tom is spree-ing. However, this displays quite a selfishness within the relationship and they end up becoming parasitic to each other. Many philosophers describe love as being concern for the other’s wellbeing and valuing what they value. Neera k. Badhwar, a philosopher and a university professor in Oklahoma, believes that love is an emotional orientation and that love looks like “an ongoing [emotional] affirmation of the loved object as worthy of existence…for her own sake.” Neither Gatsby or Daisy have the ‘look of love’ as Badhwar describes. Gatsby wants Daisy to be everything he wants her to be, not who she actually is, and Daisy just wants somebody to love her always. Beyond their own desires, they aren’t bound to each other and won’t sacrifice for each other. At the end of the novel, Daisy is perfectly willing to let Gatsby take responsibility for her crime, not caring about his well being or values. Love for Daisy corrupts Gatsby and changes his character so fundamentally. While their relationship is much more intense than Tom and Daisy’s, it still very superficial and self centered.
Is cheating justifiable?
There are two primary cases when considering marriage and cheating: one, having extramarital affairs and two, marrying someone you don’t love. This occurs a lot within the book between Daisy and Tom, Gatsby and Daisy, Tom and Myrtle, and Myrtle and George (Jordan and Nick could be considered but they weren’t really married). To look at Daisy first, her disgust and regret at Tom becomes part of the reason she gets into an affair with Gatsby. It’s obvious from the first chapter that Daisy feels alone, unloved, and hurt, especially by Tom’s infidelity. She may be unsure whether he will leave her one day, abandon her and Pammy for some other woman. For Myrtle, the primary reason for cheating on her seemingly kind husband is desire for a better life. Like everyone else chasing the American dream, Myrtle wanted so much more from her life and believed that this could be accomplished through relationships. For a woman in her mid thirties who does not have a child and is married, there is a possibility that either George or herself (more likely George) was infertile. This may have furthered feelings of bitterness towards her husband. A similarity between Daisy, Myrtle, and Gatsby’s affairs is that they are based on the hope of changing the past and taking back mistakes made. However, choices made in the past are always impossible to take back and have long lasting repercussions. A mother who gives up working to take care of her children cannot go back to work ten years later. A son who chooses to work near home to take care of sick parents can’t fulfil dreams of studying abroad fifteen years later because he is too old then. Cheating is not a justifiable act, especially within the context of the Great Gatsby. However, upon examining the reasons of cheating, it’s understandable, tragic, and still unforgivable.